A day since we got the letter confirming that we are your mum & dad

Just when you think there are no more steps, you get a letter confirming the court ruling to confirm that the adoption process is done and dusted...

Since last writing, nothing major to report other than some very very testing moments for me. It's bizarre how there are days when I'm totally on it, nothing ruffles me, I can take what you throw at me and all is calm. Then there's the days where I am in a sweat from start to finish and you are like a storm in a teacup. There have been two such days in the last week when I muttered not very mummy friendly things under my breath and had not very mummy friendly thoughts so hard was my patience tried. But also, I think I get in a flap some days more than others; behaviour that is normally manageable & containable, on those days becomes a day when I could really call Super Nanny and have her come over. I think that you are teething a bit more, molars perhaps, growing (do growing pains exist?), and at full throttle "terrible 2" behaviour. I know you are testing me. I've read the manual, it says it's because you love me. *laughs to self*

I think that you are testing me more than Pa. Is that normal or is that because I am the working Ma? Either way, you are most definitely seeing what you can and can't get away with so I have braced myself and am standing firm. This is where working part time sort of gets in the way; after three days with you over the weekend, I'm in the zone, but then there are two work days and I fall out the loop again. You are clever though, you know the days that are work days from the beginning. My leaving is no longer traumatic which is brilliant.

Last weekend we had a drink with some new neighbours and when talking about you, they were asking about pregnancy, did we play you music in the womb. I immediately said – no, nothing like that, she just loves music. I could see Pa was teetering wanting to tell them that you are adopted, but I jumped in to stop him. We agreed we would no longer tell people on the whole and I don't think there is any need for D&S to know; not because I don't like them, I do, but because there comes a point where it cannot be a badge of honour or a story we can tell, it has to be your thing when you're ready. I'm happily leaving it behind anyway, til I have to talk to you about it. Don't know why Pa was all eager beaver to tell them. He wanted to share I suppose. But there has to be a limit, we cannot follow "this is Nova" with "she's adopted" all the time.

Despite your three hour nap you have dropped off promptly, you little love. I feel so satisfied when we've had a good day and I have provided comfort, food and entertainment for you.