Excuse my silence, I was away on a work trip to Denmark last week. Our first overnight separation from eachother. More than overnight in fact, three nights and four days; it was long.
I left early in the morning and woke you up to say goodbye. I had been telling you for a few days that I would be away, that Grandma was going to come and stay, but I don't think you understood. I wanted to say bye, not just not be there in the morning then be absent for several days, but you were all asleep and confused poor soul so I didn't linger, just said bye quickly. You cried on my shoulder. Pa rang me an hour or so later to say you were ok.
From what Pa says, the first day and night were fine. It's not the first time I have left in the morning and not returned til after your bedtime. But during the second and subsequent days, it all went a bit awry. You seemed confused and upset. Apparently you were sort of ok during the day, but a little unsettled and not eating much. Then at night, hard to settle and waking frequently; something you rarely do normally.
It was hard knowing all this while I was away and retrospectively, four days was possibly a bit long to start with. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it. In the long term, I don't suppose it will scar you in any way. You ran Pa and Grandma ragged, they both looked drained when I Skyped them! Lightweights. And you were unusually silent, just looking at the computer me. I managed to coax you into a little playing with random mad sounding singing or word play, but mainly you just looked a bit sad to be honest.
I have to admit, I had a great time in Denmark. It's a lovely country and we went to different cities, met interesting people, had a laugh. I didn't get plastered and make the most of being away in that way; it just didn't happen and we couldn't be bothered actively looking for nights out. It meant that we were clear headed for work and able to enjoy a day of sight seeing on the last day. I don't feel guilty about going or about having a good time. But I did miss you terribly. Every time I saw a little girl, I would get a massive pang and want to show them photos of you, talk about you, tell them stories about what you like and don't like. So come the last day and the journey home, I was super excited and most anxious to just be home. Pa kept you awake, you hadn't really gone to sleep anyway, and you truly lit up when you saw me. You gabbled like you were telling me four days worth of stories, it was very cute. Your pointy arm was waving around like a... twirling pointy thing. And I managed to get you to bed and sleep pretty quickly. I enjoyed the cuddle and loved your chattering. It's nice to feel wanted.
You're now back to falling asleep pretty quickly though a horrid cough is waking you sporadically. It knots my stomach listening to that cough by the way, you just hack and hack, sometimes retching with the effort. But you seem to have recovered fast and you can see that normal service has been resumed.
We're off on our first proper holiday this Friday, to Devon, to a wooden chalet on the beach. Can't wait.
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