Three days until I am officially your mum

So, it's three days until it's all official and we don't have to answer to anyone anymore. As I write that it doesn't seem like such a big deal, but I know on Tuesday I will either erupt into big gulping tears or show nothing and be the vision of serenity... which way will it go...?? Knowing me: show nothing. But I hope I do let go if the mood sweeps me, it is after all a very very big deal of a day. We are already your Ma & Pa, you're already our little shouty bean, but we'll all have the same name, you'll have a new middle name that we came up with, which you may or may not thank us for, and that will be that. I think. The notion of adoption can bugger off til you start probing. I think.

We've settled into our little routine with me working part time, Pa spending those days with you and it's like it was always thus. We haven't quite got a handle on 100% strict timings on everything, but you seem fine with that, as long as certain things happen during the day you are pretty flexible. I have noticed that our, certainly mine but I think Pa's also, confidence has grown hugely so we make parenting decisions without falling into a bucket of self-doubt and questioning. Love, after all, matters, and that we have in abundance. I do find myself now and then wanting to speed up time to see now what you will be like as a five year old, a ten year old, a teenager, a young girl and I even wonder about your wedding. Pa would cry hopelessly. I also wish that I could stand still for a while and let you catch up so that the age gap between us wasn't quite so big. I wish you could have had younger parents. But anyway, I'll stay youthful thanks to you and always remember that I met Jack White and surely that makes me cool :)

You do things now that I never thought I would experience – looking for me when we're at playdates or playgroups, burying your head in my shoulder when coyness suddenly washes over you, or just seeking comfort in my presence. I can make you feel better. I can make you stop crying. Just by being there. Amazing.

Your grasp of language is incredible and I have started introducing French. You understand everything I say to you and I hope it's not long before you start making proper conversation back. I imagine that will also bring an avalanche or argument and attitude, but it will also relieve your current frustrations when you can't ask for something. There is only so much more ah-ah-ah-ing and waving of the arm that I can take...

Goodnight Louse, you're already gone, soon as I lay you down zzzzzzzzzzzzzz