Today you decided what you wanted to wear for the first time

You are starting to love dresses; you certainly like trying on clothes when I'm sat in your room figuring out what to dress you in. And this morning, I was being indecisive as usual when you grabbed a dress a Japanese friend just sent. I thought it was a little big, but I put it on you for a laugh and it was ok, so we went with it. It's not often I dress you in pink, but today there is no doubt that you are a girl.

I just listened to a Radio 4 show about children in care and the effects on them their early life experiences have on them. I listened with interest, but I also separated myself from the programme, telling myself that as you were well looked after (apart from the two weeks where they tried to encourage contact with D) and you came to us right when you turned one, it didn't apply to you. Partly I think that's true, but I also think that I want to forget about adoption. You feel so much ours, I hate reminding myself that you started out somewhere else. And yet I am also very proud of your heritage on D's side and I look forward to telling you about your birth family as people. But see, even just there, I tried to find a way other than "birth family" of referring to them. Anyway, on the radio show I was talking about, there was a mother & daughter who had come together when the little girl was 7, and they seemed to have a very close relationship despite the late adoption. The woman very firmly said "my daughter" several times and she said it very naturally. I thought that was lovely. I hope that none of the information that will come to you rocks our relationship. I am sure though that many things will test us, but I hope we are laying the foundations strongly and deeply enough to make our family sturdy enough to withstand whatever will be thrown at us.