Four years, nine months, 28 days since trying to become a mum and four months since becoming one

You're much better today. You threw stuff around. I was relieved.

Tell you what though, I realise quite how stressed and anxious I have felt over these past few days as I keep having palpitations. Something I am prone to anyway and there is a term for it (hyper something tacky cardic), but since running a lot the episodes had become quite rare. However, I ended up taking a beta blocker today to get a grip on them. I don't need twice the anxiety!

Who knew parenting could be so fraught. Well, you know cos you hear people talk about it, but you don't actually KNOW until you're in it. Then you wish you'd listened... But anyway, all is fine and I will know the signs to watch out for next time because of course there will be a next time and maybe next time your temp will hit 40 degrees plus, the A&E temperature.

Was it wrong to think about taking a little diazepam today...