Three days since we tried potty training

I wonder if anyone becomes the sort of parent they imagine they will be. I have been around kids a lot before becoming a mum, I know it's not the same as having the ultimate responsibility, but I had lived a close quarters with family & friends and their kids so felt quite confident in my parenting abilities.

It has come as a surprise to me how much I can question what I'm doing, look to others to see what they're doing and generally get my knickers in a twist. I worry a lot, when you're tantruming publicly for example, that people will think I'm a rubbish mum, that you're out of control or not happy or something. I'm amazed at how much I care what others think. I'm not sure if this would have happened anyway or if it has come as a byproduct of adoption and all the responsibilities that come with that. I don't think it's 100% responsible, but I do reckon it plays a part because it feels like we have extra pressure to make sure you're ok as a person in the long run, given your family background. It makes me realise how utterly lucky we were to get you so young. Already, now you're two, I can see how much bigger a transition it would have been for you if you were that bit older.

So the last three days we have been somewhat prisoner in the house as we decided to have a go at potty training, the hard way ie nappies off and that's it, no big trips out until the potty is being used regularly. Three days in I have cracked and I think perhaps you're not quite ready. You ticked all the boxes that the book indicated, but you pee and poop freely with no conception of the potty and its function, other than a funny chair I sit you on now and then. Here's a case in point, where I thought I'd be all relaxed and organic, and then I find myself following the instructions of some woman who thinks that kids need Draconian regimes to keep them in control (she has no kids). Anyway, we'll relax a little and let you warm to it in your own time. If only because there is only so much time I care to spend on my knees picking up poops and waving them bye-bye down the loo, while you shout for juice or strawberries or something. Never thought I'd be so relieved to put a nappy back on you...

Yesterday you counted to ten, perfectly. You have also started forming slightly sophisticated sentences – you were saying something was funny and doing your fake forced laugh; very cute. You have a mirror face that you pull. You still have an annoying tendency to toss your food onto the floor (more knee time for me). You are starting to be able to drink from a glass without drowning. You love throwing water over yourself with a cup when in the bath. We wake up to a naked you in the cot, proudly waving your pyjamas and nappy around at us. You are having super long naps, 3 hours. And when I'm in the playground with you, I feel very proud that you're mine.